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Suicide Was Not The Answer For Me

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I was fwb with a guy I really thought I liked and day dreamed about for years. My high school crush. If only I just stay a little longer he will somehow be every thing I had dreamed for, I hoped. On my way home one day from visiting him for the weekend I felt this emptiness and felt the need to end my life. I didn't tell him, but what I did do is decide I had to find a way to let go and learn to live with myself alone.You can't change someone's mind on how they feel about you. My life and my choices are my responsibility. I have to love and care about me.I keep living and it's not easy being this alone in the world, (not that I am alone but alone in not having someone I connect with deeply), but there is help out there for me. I have gone out and gotten it. I also see there are people who feel what I feel too.I stoped blaming myself for how I loved and forgave myself for betraying my value as a person for the hope and ideation of romantic love with this person and my…

O Beautiful Rain

Reason To Live

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In This Loneliness

A new song came out to me last week in my loneliness, I thought I didn't like it and forgot about it. I plugged in my headphones to listen to it one last time before deleting it as I thought I would Saturday. To my surprise I loved it and want to share it with you. My go to when feeling lonely is singing my songs and practicing strings on my guitar.

Longing Is Not Love

Thank You Jesus

Thank you Jesus for the skies and trees, thank you for the waves and the birds and the flowers Jesus thank you for being here, for forgiving me of my sins, I don't deserve you, but I need you Thank you Lord for talking to me when I was lost in my ways, Thank you for a second chance, to live by your hand, Lord your the healer of broken hearts, you've got to trust in Jesus, because he loves you, your not the answer, it's at the cross Sometimes your heart is hardened, ask the Lord to help you, he can soften your heart and bring you back to the place where you first knew each other The only person you need of Jesus, and his love, don't turn to me, don't turn to man, turn to the cross, it's where you will find is guiding hand.

Morning Oats

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Oatmeal ....
One banana boiled in coconut milk. One and a half cups of old fashioned oatmeal added after coconut milk was boiled. Reduce heat and let oats cook for five minutes. Turn off heat cover and let oats sit for three minutes. Add cinnamon and brown sugar. Enjoy!
Inspired by @fannetasticfood